Wild Awake by Hilary T. Smith
Pages : 375
Genre : YA, Contemporary fiction
Stand Alone My Rating : 4,5/5
From the back of the book :
1. You will remember to water the azaleas.
2. You will take detailed, accurate messages.
3. You will call your older brother, Denny, if even the slightest thing goes wrong.
4. You and your best friend/bandmate Lukas will win Battle of the Bands.
5. Amid the thrill of victory, Lukas will finally realize you are the girl of his dreams.
Things that actually happen:
1. A stranger calls who says he knew your sister.
2. He says he has her stuff.
3. What stuff? Her stuff.
4. You tell him your parents won’t be able to—
5. Sukey died five years ago; can’t he—
6. You pick up a pen.
7. You scribble down the address.
8. You get on your bike and go.
9. Things . . . get a little crazy after that.* *also, you fall in love, but not with Lukas.
Both exhilarating and wrenching, Hilary T. Smith’s debut novel captures the messy glory of being alive, as seventeen-year-old Kiri Byrd discovers love, loss, chaos, and murder woven into a summer of music, madness, piercing heartbreak, and intoxicating joy.
My Thoughts :
There are SO many things I want to say about this book! The wheels in my brain have been working non-stop for hours, trying to organize a review for all these thoughts. Wild Awake was crazy and not what I expected and different from other YA contemporary books; it is not a book for everyone, but it was definitely a book for me.
First I have to say that, despite its fun premise and colorful cover, Wild Awake is not a cheerful, charming, summery read. It’s much darker that I had anticipated, tackling subjects like grief, drugs and mental illnesses. While there were little bits of hope and love thrown in there, what I mostly felt while reading the book was nothing close to butterflies and rainbows; instead, I felt a state of anguish and nervousness I hadn’t had from a book in a very long time.
I guess the main thing I wanted to address in my review is; what is the book about? Because honestly, there isn’t much of a story. If you are looking for a clear start, middle and finish, with the usual will-they-won’t-they romance and a final twist, you won’t really find it here. The story line is much more blurred, beginnings mixed with endings and long introspective moments dedicated to Kiri’s thoughts, especially as we follow her down the rabbit hole.
I’ll admit I have been really surprised to read so many reviews about how this is a novel about a girl on drugs, and nothing much more. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not trying to say that these readers « got the book wrong » or anything similar, because I have always felt that there are more than one way to understand a book. I was mostly surprised because this is not what I personally got from Wild Awake, not at all. Instead, I found it to be a beautifully written journey of an unstable girl’s battle for sanity, and as someone who has dealt with anxiety and its friends for quite some time now, I was surprised by how true this felt.
I’m not saying this isn’t a book about drugs either, because they are indeed an important focus of the novel. The first chapter opens with Kiri smoking weed, and it’s only the first of many times the subject is present. If drugs are a theme that makes you uncomfortable, that’s something you should probably know before getting into Wild Awake. I never felt they were glorified in any way though, as the negative effects of it on Kiri’s life take more and more place as the story progresses.
Where the author succeeded most, for me, was in broaching her themes with a lot of subtlety and a beautiful prose. For instance, there is never a « drugs are bad! » clear statement, but as you are a witness to Kiri’s collapse, it becomes quite obvious that smoking weed does nothing to help her state of mind. There’s also this sense of freefalling that grips you as you follow Kiri, as her mind whirls and takes you down with her. I was also blown away by some of the details the author added seemingly innocently to describe a scene, and that related profoundly to the story itself. The writing was quite gorgeous in some places, and so quotable too;
On the water, I can see Sukey’s ships, dark cities of their own. They are objects I will never touch, places I will never stand, sleeping giants that would not be disturbed even if all the shimmering lights and pretty buildings on land crumbled and fell down. Maybe we all need ships to hold our dreams, to be bigger and steadier than we ever could be, and to guard the mystery when we cannot, to keep it safe even when we have lost everything. (p. 182)
It’s amazing how quickly the things you thought would make you happy seem small once you stumble on something true. (p. 203)
Wild Awake isn’t for everyone – the themes are hard, the story not clearly outlined, the writing gorgeous but a tad unusual. But for those who can relate to it, it will be a breathtaking experience that grips right at your heart and your nerves and doesn’t let go until you finally reach the ending. It worked for me, and Wild Awake was certainly one of my favorite books of 2013.
